Octopus

They surely knew how to make catchy gigposters in the 60's!!! I just adore this one. For some reason I've always loved all the creatures below the surface...

Quote of The Day

A few wise lines from Bob Dylan:

"Every pleasure's got an edge of pain,
pay for your ticket and don't complain"

Hey You!

Hey you,
out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?

Hey you,
standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?

Hey you,
don’t help them to bury the light
Don’t give in without a fight.

Hey you,
out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?

Hey you,
with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?

Hey you,
would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart,
I’m coming home.

Hey you,
standing in the road
Always doing what you’re told,
Can you help me?

Hey you,
out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?

Hey you,
don’t tell me there’s no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.

- Roger Waters -

Tough Week

Well, it's been a tough week of high fever and nausea. This morning I noticed some nasty looking rash on my face and went to see the doctor, and the diagnosis was parvovirus B19!!! I just had to search for more information as I had never heard of it before! I am now doing a little better though, seems like I'm finally getting better. I hope I don't have to vomit in another 15 years, it's really awful.

We are anxiously waiting for the spring to come, it's late this year. We've still got snow and the temperatures are between -2 and +3. I've had enough of grey skies, feels like years since I saw and felt the sunshine.

Turku-Helsinki

I came home a while ago after visiting friends and family in both Turku and Helsinki. In Turku I was in a bar called Haarikka to enjoy a jazz-jamming night, held every month's last thursday. I liked the athmosphere and was pleased to notice that there were many young people both on stage and audience; not just old jazz farts!
Then, on friday, I took a 2pm train to Helsinki, where my brother has now lived for a couple of years. He lives in Kallio, definitely one of my favorite areas in Helsinki. We did some barhopping and I also met my friends Hanni and Mikko, who lives in Töölö, close to the Helsinki Opera.
Something funny happened while I was going to the trainstation last night, heading back to Turku. We ran to catch the tram and noticed a guy who was running to get it, some other guys kept the tramdoors open and he finally got in, breathing heavily and his thank you, a very finnish way, was "haistakaa vittu", "f**k you". All the people inside had a lot of fun. I guess it tells a little something about our sense of humour...

The visit of an Old Lady

We started rehearsing for a new play yesterday. As soon as the other one was "buried", it was time to start a new one. It is sometimes a little difficult to leave a play behind, as you strangely attach to your role and people you're working with. Sometimes you're in a play so deeply it takes time to get rid of it psychologically. So, a new, totally different kind of a play is always a very good thing, a change to "reborn" again!
So now it's time for Friedrich Durrenmatt's "Der Besuch der alten Dame", "The visit of an Old Lady." I'll write more and tell how the play will find it's course, and will definitely enclose some photos from the beginning to the end.

Here's some more information about the play itself:

"Feeling for humanity, gentlemen, is cut for the purse of an ordinary millionaire; with financial resources like mine you can afford a new world order."

Der Besuch der alten Dame ("The Visit of the Old Lady") premiered in Zurich in 1956, when Durrenmatt was 35. It was such a success that productions sprang up in England and America over the next two years.
Durrenmatt called this story "A Tragic Comedy." More than any other of his plays, this story of an old lady who returns home to wreak an exact and merciless vengeance on her former lover intimately joins comedy and tragedy to support each other in nearly every scene.

The play really has three major characters: the old lady, Claire Zachanassian; her former lover and object of her ruthless justice, Alfred lll; and the people of the town of Gullen, who make up a kind of composite representation of society itself. Through these characters, Durrenmatt is able to give the audience a darkly comic, breathless, and in the end, unanswerable debate about the nature of justice, redemption and community.

Claire is a hodgepodge of patched-together artificial limbs, held together only by her hate. Since her betrayal at the hands of lll and the people of Gullen, she has spent her life in a single-minded vengeance. Her justice is god-like. Across all of Europe, she pursues the two men who lied about her in court like a fury; they are castrated and made her slaves. Durrenmatt compares her to an ancient idol. She is like the statue of Justice - eternal, something out of myth. When the townspeople first refuse her offer of a billion marks for the life of Alfred lll, she says quietly, "I'll wait," and you can imagine her waiting centuries.

Amazingly, we find ourselves cheering her on; as the play begins, she is the only character who speaks the unadorned truth. In The Visit, characters use language to hide their real intentions. As Durrenmatt writes, "Today man lives in a world which he knows less than we assume. He has lost his image and has become a victim of images." In The Visit, he puts the preconceptions that get us through day-to-day life under the microscope.

Although Durrenmatt decried symbolism ("Misunderstandings creep in, because people desperately search the hen yard of my drama for the egg of explanation which I steadfastly refuse to lay."), it is hard not to see the poverty of Europe during the Depression and the slow growth of fascism in-between the lines in The Visit. With the ashes of World War II still in their mouths, the people of Europe in the 1950's faced the growing Cold War and the shadow of the atomic bomb. The question of how a man can hold on to his ideals in the face of grinding poverty was still a strong one.

Durrenmatt wrote about the town of Gullen (meaning "excrement" in Swiss), "It is a community which slowly yields to temptation...yet this yielding must be understandable. The temptation is too great, the poverty is too bitter. (The Visit) is a malicious play, but just for that reason, it must be presented without anger and in the most humane way, with sadness yet with humor, for nothing hurts this comedy that ends tragically than brutal seriousness."

Durrenmatt uses the people of the town to show the weakness of authority, the disorder just beneath the civilization's order. When the people of Gullen begin to buy expensive items on credit, lll panics, and goes for help to his Family, the Government (the Mayor), the Law (the police chief) and the Church (the minister). He is rebuffed at every turn. Even the teacher, representing Intellectualism, sees what is happening but is too weak to fight it.

With no where to turn, lll takes responsibility for his crime. He achieves the serenity and acceptance that Durrenmatt saw as the pinnacle of human heroism. He gains stature in our eyes through this transformation. He can reject the city's offer to commit suicide; the town, too, must be made to face its responsibility. In The Visit, lll is the only character who changes and grows. Claire is sterile in everything but her need for revenge; the people of Gullen do nothing but reveal their true, rotten selves. Only lll has the epiphany of self-knowledge that Durrenmatt prized so highly.

At the end of the play, with lll dead at the town's feet and Claire's check in the Mayor's hand, "order" and "community" are restored, but now the audience knows these ideas are grotesquely false. As Peppard writes, "In the closing scene, the townspeople appear as much slaves as they did at the beginning; if at first they were victims of poverty, they are now the captives of prosperity. Only lll has found freedom, and he has attained it only by a withdrawal from the community into death."

In The Visit, Durrenmatt writes a classical tragedy for the 20th century, a modern answer to ancient questions of honor, loyalty and community.

To see the world with different eyes

Today I was reading my dear friend's blog and commenting her post about the actor Joaquin Phoenix. He has a very distinctive scar on his upper lip. This type of scar is traditionally due to repair of a cleft lip. Cleft lip and palate happen when the sides of upper lip and/or roof of the mouth fail to join during pregnancy. I think his scar is definitely a part of his charisma, something that makes him different of others.

So I decided to keep my eyes open today, looking at people, trying to see them with different eyes this time. In only a few hours I saw perhaps more than I had seen for a long time.
First it was a woman in a wheelchair. Her legs looked weak. I tried to imagine a life, tied in a wheelchair, needing constant help from others. She seemed happy and had probably recently had a haircut, the colour was fantastic and suit her well. I noticed she was wearing a wedding ring and thought what kind of a man she's married to. Do they have children? Are they healthy?

Then I saw a young boy who's other foot was shorter than the other. His hair was too long, hiding his eyes that had a very shy look. He avoided my curious but gentle stare.

On my way home I saw a blind woman with her stick and the dog. She was crossing the street. It almost brought tears in to my eyes, not for pity, but for once again realizing how granted I take my all senses, that I can see, I can hear, I can run. I can listen to the laughter of children, I can see the sunset on a beach.

We live in a world where we measure others by the looks. I've done it many times too, without realizing that the true beauty lies within.

Observations on a sunny day

I was walking on a street yesterday
A car passed me by
I thought I saw someone waving at me
But it was just a happy dog's tail

Museums Online, final

For two summers in a row, in 1989 and 1990 I was in London. I was 16 years old on my first trip, got my first kiss from a man called Angus who was from Dublin, Ireland. His hair was a mess and he wore round sunglasses like John Lennon. We met while I was waiting for the bus in Trafalgar Square to take me to the suburbs, and he asked me to visit National Gallery with him. I saw him on next day at Camden Market, and then he disappeared. Many months later I received a letter from Ireland, the envelope dirty and the handwriting messy, but a note to say that "didn't we have such fun at the stairs of Piccadilly Circus"? Yes we did!

There are other fantastic museums and galleries in London worth visiting, my favorite is the Tate Gallery, where I saw all the Turner's and Warhol's for the first time. It was a very hot July and I got drunk on strong apple cider later that day on Covent Garden.

Those were the days! It's funny how much a human mind can actually remember, even the clothes I was wearing, the food, the pubs, the smell of a city...Once you realize how wonderful it is to travel you can't stop dreaming about the next trip. Right now I am sort of planning to visit my dear friend in Moscow this summer. I don't know for how long I can stay, but would love to visit a museum in there too. I've been in St Petersburg many times and The Hermitage is unbelieavable!

One of my guilty pleasures...

...has always been men in tight jeans playing guitar. Such a cliche, but can't help it. Here I am, trying to create a meaningful, tasty blog while secretly fantasizing of developing a timemachine that would take me back to the end of 60's and to the backstage of a Led Zeppelin show. Maybe I was a groupie in my last life? Who knows? Anyway, here's Robert Plant and Jimmy Page. Irresistible, eh?

Picture Of The Day

I don't know who's piece of art this is, but I love it!

Museums Online part 2

From all the museums of New York, my favorite is definitely the American Museum of Natural History!

I spent hours and hours in there, wondering about the dinosaurs and the native american cultures. The same kind of a museum in London is excellent too, imho a lot better than British Museum, which is, of course, also worth visiting.

From MoMA I bought several posters and, I admit, stole a pencil that were there for people to write down the numbers of the posters. I still got the pen, it's my treasure. I hope the staff ain't reading the blog...

Here's one of my MoMA favorites by Matisse

Museums Online part 1

Back to my "normal" self after swimming in the black sea of my usual selfpity. Sometimes I laugh at myself, which, I guess, it's good after all, not to take oneself too seriously. I know I must be hard on my friends because my changing moods and emotions, one moment I am the most happiest and confident and the next I am sure that everyone hates me, lol...Oh and this anxiety..well, I guess I can sometimes be even happy for it as it surely must be one of the sources of the creativity. I am sure that people who are always "happy" and "pleased" really don't know how to play the blues.

Anyway...as the title suggests, as a museumlover I've been very pleased to find that most of the biggest museums have excellent website for people who can't physically visit them as often as they'd love to.

When I lived in New York I visited them on a weekly basis, and even on a shorter trip I always try to visit at least one museum, even if I know that it takes many times to really see the place, not just run through it. Most of the museums are humongous and it's not worth it trying to see everything on one day, difficult if you kinda have to, but then I guess it's ok just to search for the highlights. Or see them online!!!!

I can still remember it so clearly, my first museum in New York. It was a hot and humid august afternoon and I had already been walking in my Dr Martens for miles, getting blisters. So I stopped by a little shop on Upper East Side to get bandaid and a bottle of Evian as I was heading towards the Guggenheim Museum. Even the building itself is a piece of art, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

The museums were actually one of the only reasons for me visiting uptown, except of Central Park and a guy I briefly dated who lived there ;-) (no, not in the park, on Lexington Ave & 81st)

A few blocks down from Guggenheim is the magnificent Metropolitan Museum Of Art. There was this hotdog-carriage in front of the museum and the lady tried to rob me, asking for an obscene amount of money for a hotdog and a soda...But hey, I was already pretty streetwise at the ripe age of 21 so I handled the situation with my Nordic Calmness, lol...the same happened a few months after that incident when my brother was visiting me and we took a cab in front of Macy's, going to see the Dakota House, and the driver tried to fool us...so to his surprise he heard a whining yet polite sentence of newyork-jewish-finnish accent to tell him which way to drive!!

Where was I? Oh, the Met! That's where I first saw Dali's paintings "live". That's where I fell in love with both Klee and Klimt. Once again the museum is huge, takes days to go through, and on my numerous visits I found that my favorite department was actually Musical Instruments (well, I guess it's not a surprise).

Gotta leave for work soon, I'll continue with this one asap!

Brokeback Mountain

Well, it has been two days since I saw the film and it's still haunting me. It was one of those movies that were even better than you thought. I didn't read a lot about it beforehand so I didn't have that much expectations either, just a hint of what it might be.
It was a lovestory. A story of two people in love, how it affected themselves and their surroundings. Watching the movie I "forgot" they were gay, all I saw was two people who loved eachother and families who had to live with it. It made me think how there must be hundreds, thousands of families like that where the other can't fully live a life they'd want to. That must be heartbreaking to all involved.

Here in Finland the attitudes are getting more and more liberal and people are slowly accepting gays. The whole gay-culture is fairly new and mostly in big cities. 20 years ago we still could only dream about they gaybars that now exists in Helsinki. Still the attitude is quite severe among many people, especially among older men who are not very educated; there's no worse insult than calling a man gay here in Finland. Quite ridiculous, eh?

There was very little sex in the movie, it was not the point. This was the first film I saw with Heath Ledger, and I must say he was REALLY convincing as Ennis del Mar. He didn't say much, but you could see his every emotion. I recommend this movie to everyone who likes a good story, beautiful landscapes and soothing music.

Two Photos

Here's two shots taken recently, a wintery view and a picture of Turku Castle.

Sunday

What a wonderful weekend!Can't remember the last time I had enjoyed so many different things, real variety, good company and excellent weather! We've been blessed now with it for days, maybe I already keep repeating myself but now we've got winter at it's best; sunshine and a lot of snow!

So, last night at 8pm me and Päivi went skiing on ice. The local skiing club organizes a "Moonlight Skiing" each year in March, they make a track on ice and have tens of big candles and fires to show the way. The track was a little over 5 kilometers and I enjoyed every centimeters of it!! My thighs are aching a little but the pain gives me pleasure this time...

This morning I went to Turku, first to the Turku Castle to see a wonderful exhibition of C.G.Mannerheim, a very important person in the history of my country. I never realized how much he had travelled, and liked that part of the exhibition most; the photos and souvenirs from those trips he made over 100 years ago. You can read more about Mannerheim in here.

Then I went to visit my dear grandmother who will be 87 years old later this year. I love her very deeply, she has always been "my hero". When the winter war against The Soviet Union started at 1939 my grandmother was 20 years old and living in Karjala (Carelia), she had to leave her home and she and her family had practically nothing when they left, and still she has had a very good life and she has never complained about anything!

Then, a great way to end a good day, I went to the movies to see "Brokeback Mountain". I'll digest that wonderful film for a while and will write my thoughts about it tomorrow.

Hyvää yötä!

poem #3

The Backseat Madonna

Play lady play,
the clouds aint cream
death is not a dream.
Play lady play.

Dim light from the car radio
girl sits on a backseat,
without any expressions, without a smile

How could I tell you
that all the clock's have sold their times?

Poem #2, to be continued

I stand onstage, alone
even the boys of sound and lights are gone
the winds attack me from all the directions

The Flying Dutch roams on every ocean
never finding the peaceful harbour

Please come back! Please!
There's no life after death,
feels like no life before death either,
just glimpses of it, like fast and colourful tv ads

The world of smells

I got home two hours ago and thought it was about time to do some housework. So I loaded the washingmachine, did the dishes (no, don't own a dishwasher, damn!), some dusting and vacuuming, put shattered clothes back to the drawers, recycled newspapers, took out the carbage etc etc. I knew there was a very cold and tempting can of Kopparberg's applecider waiting for me in the fridge when I had my job done. Now I am slowly sipping it while writing today's thoughts.

Everytime I do the dishes I let my mind wonder on something totally different, this time I was thinking about smells, and perfumes in particular!! I am not addicted to make up, admit having clothes I don't wear, but my true obsession is perfume! Yes! Just one look at my bathroom closet reveals that I have 7 different kinds of bottles right now! Seven is my lucky number by the way! There are some bottles waiting for the summer, and then there are some I like to wear now. It has been only a few times that I've liked a certain scent so much I've bought more than one bottle, once it happened with Gucci's Envy and now for a second time with my number one smell ever, Kenzo's Flower! It's just damn delicious and perfect! It's ideal for winter actually, and I prefer to wear it in the evenings. Everytime I'm wearing it I just smell myself infatuated all the time, LOL!

Smells are strongly connected to the memories, suddenly you just travel back in time into a special place or a special person. Some guy wearing same aftershave as an ex from the past brings instant memories, maybe good ones or bad ones...sometimes the memory is too strong.

I think Chanel makes the best aftershaves, Antaeus and especially Egoiste Platinum makes my knees instantly weak. I like guys who smells good, not overly, but when you get close...

Then there are some natural smells that are just irresistible, like a clean, warm skin...maybe even better and sexier than the scent from a bottle. The ocean has a wonderfull smell, fresh bread, tar, some flowers...I'd be deeply sad to loose my sense of smelling.

Starry, cold night

The cold weather continues. Tonight the temperature will go below -20, and tomorrow it'll be sunshine with -18. The full moon is next week, and after that it will hopefully get a little warmer. I'm planning to go skiing on saturday! Yes, well have this happening called "Moonlight Skiing", we'll start at 8pm and ski on ice, where there are fires to show the way, and later we'll have hot drinks and a sauna! Excellent!

I had a rough day at work today, felt a little crappy when I got home. 2 more weeks and I'll have one week off, would LOVE to get some place warm. Most probably I'll just stay home and maybe visit friends and family in Turku and Helsinki. There's one exhibition in Helsinki I'd love to see, in Amos Anderson Art Museum they have fantastic works of Alphonse Mucha. Here's one of his painting called "An Amethyst."